Why I Don’t Love My Fiance

Howdy Beautiful You. So, I came across this piece and decided to share because its a beautiful piece and reflects what’s in love chapter about Love being a choice. This is a guy’s perspective and it’s refreshing to hear a guy say such things….. We can all learn from it and begin to know more on what love is really all about….and finally because ‘to share is to Love. 🙂

Michael J. Pittman

In 130 days I’m getting married, and a friend recently asked me why I love my fiancé. I wanted to share a deeper perspective on Amanda and I’s relationship, so before I answered why I love her, I had to first explain to him the reasons I don’t love my future bride to be.

I came to two conclusions:
First is, I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the outside. I know. It sounds cheesy, it sounds sappy. This perspective is not a novel idea by any means. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t love you for what’s on the outside. I love you for what’s on the inside.” But that brings me to my second conclusion.

I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the inside either.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many things on the inside and outside that I love about

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Butterflies and Dreams


This is a mini series where we would relate the life of a butterfly to our dreams…..

The life of a butterfly

The enclosure moves… move closer to look at what is happening, the shell suddenly opens and the Larva emerges…. It meets constraints ….eating its way out to escape the enclosure…….it emerges … What it would do next is an adventure to watch…..its journey to beauty….

Butterflies live life in a particular pattern that continues from generation to generation without the thought of a change. They come to life from the egg stage, move on to the larva and pupa stage and finally become adult butterflies where the true meaning of their existence comes to realization. They mate, give birth, aid in pollination and then die. I could say they live a banal life…..but at least they get to do what they are here to do.

Our journey here on earth….

 When my journey on earth started I was still in playing around with my friends and toys… my idea of what I’m here to do was still a great mystery to me and more of a distant thought. Though from the time of childhood my sudden interest in a particular thing was evident by those around me; and even more so me. But any ideas or keen interest to continue in it may have not been so compelling.  Gradually, as I grew up, I found myself watching cartoons and retelling them in my own way in my head and putting it down on paper….. So with this gift or talent I had I didn’t really think anything could come out of it…it was just my way of sneaking out of this world and having fun in another world. So then what am I here to do? What do I then do with this talent?

The butterfly doesn’t just emerge from the egg, it takes a few stages before it comes out as a beautiful butterfly….so does your dream require stages before it is actualized.

We are all here to achieve purpose and have something special pertaining to each of us to achieve. We can follow the robotic pattern of life; grow up-go to school-work-marry-give birth-grow old-die. But in between these stages it’s our purpose, and the dreams we have in our heart that we ACTUALIZE, that make us different and more fulfilled.



To dream is to have a deep aspiration for something. Late Martin Luther king had a dream….a dream that would have sounded ludicrous at that time but now we are living it; the whole world is. Late Mandela also had a strong desire to get something done and he made an impact in the whole world.

Like a butterfly begins its form right from the egg stage, so are our dreams still in our minds. Your dreams right now is an egg, very precious to you. When you think to release it is when you hatch it out from your mind and move to the larva stage to see/consider how to go about it; seeing the possibilities of your dreams becoming a reality.
The larva eats and eats to nourish itself, research and research on how you can benefit others. Think and begin to act on it.
Find out what you are good at, that talent you have and how you hope to use it to impact lives; ’cause I don’t believe your talent is just for personal use but public impact.

 I thought of myself writing for fun to entertain my friends and I, but never as a major thing in life…until recently when I thought perhaps something fruitful could come out of it that one day I could write books, articles….great things and from then it became my dream….
Don’t limit yourself or dreams, I’m not going to do that.

Like I said this is a mini series, we would continue next time with the next stage after realizing what your purpose is, the challenges that come up …..stay tuned.

Till then I leave you with this quote by  George Bernard Shaw,

“Some men see things as they are and say ‘why?’ Others dream things that never were and say ‘why not?’ ”




How great Thou art in all the earth, a meeting.   was held in the absence of anyone. You created the world from nothings; the sky, the oceans, the moving creatures. You created us mere humans from clay made to govern….

El Shaddai


The Consuming fire; His anger that one cannot hide from…..You created the earth, destroyed it with your strong waters and re populated it again…yet promising with Your bow never to do so again……


You delivered the Israelites from the people of Egypt. They danced and praised Your holy name. You lifted up prophets for Your people, judges for Your people, kings for Your people but You remained the King of all the earth as the heart of kings are in your hands……

Jehovah Elyon.


You sent Your only son to die for us to bridge the gap between You great God and us mere mortals. How great Thou art o Lord! You graced us with Your ever-available presence. The pain He felt You felt, how painful it must have been to turn Your back on Your precious one for the slightest minute Loving Father…..

Jehovah M’Kaddesh

And the moment shall come….indeed it shall come….when all Your chosen ones would come together in eternity…the new Jerusalem… praise Your holy name forever and ever….

El Olam

The God in the times of Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Daniel , Jesus, the Apostles……This is the same God we praise, the Ancient of Days, the consuming fire…..compassionate God of ours. Your faithfulness so great! Your love transcending to all generations. I praise your holy name!!

Excerpt of Great is Thy faithfulness…..’

As Thou has been Thou forever will be….’

Job 36 vs 24-26.


…Burning Desire 2 (concluding part)


Hello everyone!!! How was your week???…hope fantastic….
Welcome to the concluding part of Burning Desires…..

They were kissing heavily, Bimpe now laying on the couch and Flex multitasking by removing her blouse with one hand and holding her with the other…all of a sudden she seemed to return to her senses. “I can’t do this,” she suddenly said, pulling away sharply….feeling bad that she had given in. “I’m sorry….”
Flex was dumbfounded. He got up and told her she should probably go home. She asked why…
“Do you expect me to hold your hand and just watch tv? Beautiful I can’t do what you are asking…sex…I can try…but kissing??????? No baby”. He gave a sad smile and told her it was best she left and he would drop her at home.
“You don’t want to be with me again? Is that it?” She asked, too scared to hear his answer.
“I care about you Bimpe…..I really do….but I just feel we shouldn’t go ahead…we want different things.”
“You care… but I love you…. I guess we aren’t on the same page…” With that said she walked out, telling him she would get home herself.

Later at home she broke down in tears and began to think what if she was over doing it….had she made the right decision? what if he loved her and she never met anyone like him again….her line of thoughts just provoked more tears …she was more confused than ever….and now he didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
Two months romance gone in a day….Bimpe sighed again….to forget him now was going to be hard.

Weeks later…..

“Yo! Flex……how you dey?” Dayo asked him. He was hanging out with his friend at an eatery.
“I dey jare…..” He answered absentmindedly. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Bimpe; her face and confession of loving him. They hadn’t spoken in a while and he had to admit that he missed her. So engrossed in his thoughts was he that he didn’t hear Dayo…….
“Dude wetin happen ….person die? Abi person break your heart?” Flex chuckled and admitted his thoughts.
“So what do you want to do now?” He shrugged and said he didn’t know. Dayo asked what it was about the girl that got him thrilled….’I mean there are a lot of girls out there….you that can call one girl and ten would answer.” Flex smiled, thinking that was true, he respected her choice though to him it sounded strange and nonsensical, but then he remembered how much he had fun with her….and he didn’t think he wanted anyone else.

Bimpe let herself cry for days at what happened. She didn’t want to eat and sleeping was difficult …she found herself waking up at night and crying herself back to sleep. She was taking it a day at a time …trying to forget him. Bimpe hadn’t heard from him and at times she found herself picking up the phone to call him and would then drop it quickly, changing her mind. Bimpe talked to Lara about it who encouraged her that she had chosen right to set things straight and if he really liked and respected her he would consider her values and if not all would be fine. ‘Easy for her to say….’ Bimpe thought to herself, she just wanted to sink into a hole and go away from the world.
So when she saw a black Toyota Corolla parked not far from her gate her heart literally did somersaults as she walked slowly towards him. He  spotted her and got out of his car.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, stabling her voice so it wouldn’t betray her innermost feelings.
“Hi Bimpe…..could I get a hug first?” He opened his arms wide to welcome her. She looked quizzically at him then hesitantly moved into his tall frame and hugged him… was like being in a home long abandoned but yearned for. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she around his waist.
“Your hair smells lovely….” Bimpe muttered a thank you and made the first move to break their embrace. She brushed her hair from her face and asked how he was doing.
“I’m doing good…..but I miss you.” Bimpe folded her arms and put up an invincible wall.
“Hmmm…….alright, thanks for missing me.” She felt uncomfortable beneath his stares.  He invited her into his car so they could talk….. She wasn’t going to send him away, it wasn’t like he did something terrible to her….he just broke her heart; she followed him.
“Bimpe I don’t think I handled what happened between us well….”
“You think?” She interrupted.
“Okay, I know…..and I’m sorry. I was shocked and just thought it was best to leave it as that….I thought your decision wasn’t making sense and I was pissed, didn’t want to push you and thought it best we just stopped seeing each other since we wanted different things…..”
“You already did a lot of thinking back then…So what do you want now? Why are you here?”
“If you keep interrupting me I would shut you up by kissing you….” Bimpe frowned and made a move to get out of the car but he pulled her back gently; pleading with her to stay. She settled back in but thought if it was friendship he wanted; it was going to be nearly impossible.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…..” He took a deep breathe, “and I’m willing to give this method of yours a try…… I’ve been in a lot of relationships ….done a lot of things and I enjoy them…I won’t lie to you…it’s going to be hard for me.”
 He looked at her intently, confused. “But can you just explain what’s there in kissing? Sex….I can get.. But kissing?”
“Kissing has a way of leading to something more, I would want you to touch me and all which would lead me ..both of wanting more.” Flex then said they would know when to stop before it reached that. Bimpe smiled and shook her head, telling him there were no off buttons and it was a risk to take. He looked out of the window and massaged his temple for a few minutes before looking at her and telling her he wanted them to give it a try.
Bimpe was shocked,she hadn’t expected it. She asked what if he decided to up and go…..
“Then we would both know we gave it a shot and made that decision together….”
“Beautiful I do care…..” She opened her mouth to ask if he loved her but he quickly put his finger to her lips…..”Yes Bimpe….I love you…..” He took her hands in his and she smiled. He suddenly left her hand and quickly stepped out of the car…
“What happened?” She asked when she came out and was at his side.
He looked embarrassed; a look she rarely saw. “I….I had that strong urge to kiss you….” She laughed and chanced a quick hug with him. In her heart thinking that Lara was right with her advise and God help them both. If she had gone on with her previous attitude they would have gone on with the kissing and probably more……

This isn’t a conclusion for all relationships….it may not even be for any, but the point is this; don’t let go of your principles to please anyone, especially one who’s just out for the cookie!
Desires….the passion we have for that person we are attracted to and want to explore our wildest thoughts with the person…its not easy to let the thoughts remain as such….
I’ve been there….the deep emotions and desire to do more with the person…that bitter-sweet dilemma of going all the way….just a touch sending shivers to your body….their smell (perfume or cologne o!)…..appealing to your sensual senses and driving you crazy….*don’t give me that look…we all have emotions except you are a piece of wood :D….ko easy mhen! …..but then it’s something we all have to try to overcome….not by our own strength as I’ve come to realize….but with God’s help.
Stick to your beliefs and values, if he or she is the one, mutual respect and agreement would spring up….if not? Then the person who would …..would come….
God help us all…..

Food for thought…
Songs of Solomon 2 vs 7

 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles and wild deer,
not to awaken love until the time is right.’


Burning Desires…

65205383 It was Monday morning at work and Flex couldn’t get Bimpe out of his head…..the way she had cat walked out of his sight the day before still haunting him…..everything about her was appealing to him and she didn’t have to try hard like most girls to get him into her….her simplicity and youthful behavior did it all; despite the fact that she had a wild and daring side and a sexiness about her that drove him crazy. He couldn’t help the fantasies that came to his mind…….
He had studied her before he had gone after her. At a point he had to ask himself if he loved her for her body or her personality….he would have to answer the question another time. He remembered when he had taken her to the club and they had danced ….the both of them gyrating to the music; their bodies in sync. The things he wanted to do to her. But he was trying to keep it cool and not rush things…..but someone had to tell the same thing to what was in his pants. ‘God help me….’, He said to himself. Bimpe was a girl of moderate height and wasn’t completely on the skinny or chubby side…..just in between. She had long perfectly carved legs that called to be massaged. She had that caramel complexion and just had everything in the right proportion. Her lips soft… He took a deep breathe… He knew she wasn’t ready for any serious intimacy and he wanted to respect her for that but it was getting hard. Bimpe was trying hard… was getting difficult with each passing day. Just the other day they were at his apartment and were watching TV when suddenly the ambience had changed and sexual tension was almost unbearable. They were alone in the room on the couch, looking into each other’s eyes…the desire in his eyes and also in his touch when he pulled her close…his voice thickened with it when he said her name….. His eyes strolled to her lips… her heart was beating twice as fast. Her body anticipated his coming, his hands moved to touch her face and she made room for the warm touch of his lips on her neck and she sighed deeply…… Bimpe shook with desire at the thought, taking deep breathes. Coming back to reality, she went back to cutting the onions before she cut her fingers!….she had to get control ….but how?….she sighed….one of these days she knew if she didn’t have control she would lose her virginity to him and she dreaded that though she loved him. At times she just wanted to kiss him senseless and make him know how crazy she was about him. She sighed. She had to talk to someone about it or she would regret the next move.
He had a lot of work to do at the office….but he had something to settle in his mind. Flex got to thinking and came to a conclusion….It was this awakened desire she caused within him that made him want her ….he didn’t love Bimpe….it was just her body…..right? But then he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, tightening his jaw line out of frustration. Bimpe had been behaving weird these past three days…. when she answered her phone she was mono-syllable in their conversation. ‘What could have gone wrong?’ He asked himself. She had a lot of explaining to do… Bimpe had decided to talk to someone she trusted …an old friend of hers that, though quite older than her in years, could offer insight out of this dilemma she was in. “Lara….I mean sometimes I just want to do it and all….I’ve come so close to loosing it.” Lara smiled but didn’t say anything while Bimpe went on explaining her struggles. When she was done she listened intently to what Lara said. “First of all Bimpe if you didn’t go through all this I would say you’re an Alien.” She paused a bit then continued, “we all go through these things when we are so attracted to someone. I remember how it was with my husband before we got married…..we struggled with kissing and petting….when you are really attracted to someone its not easy but nothing is impossible with God’s help.” Bimpe asked her how God had anything to do with it. Lara went further to explain…”You see these feelings….emotions we have were put there by God. He can help us with the struggles when we call on Him. Now…don’t expect that the feelings would just disappear…but that when they come the strength to control them is what He would help you with…” Bimpe had moved forward in her seat opposite Lara when she was so enthralled with Lara’s words…but now she sat back. Lara had given her a lot of things to think about….
Bimpe smiled when she saw her man get out of his car, he hadn’t seen her yet, she was upstairs in her room peeping as she loved to look at him when he didn’t know, that way she could see the expressions on his face, and now it read anticipation and….. anger? She remembered how they met, she was at a friend’s party and someone was talking to her when he had rudely interrupted and she had been disgusted; though she had to admit he was absolutely divine to look at! ‘Such a pity you’re so insolent and annoying….’ She had thought. Later on, forgetting the whole scenario, she accepted his offer to dance with him; she couldn’t resist him.. she just got into it thinking what the heck…she wasn’t going to see him again…. and when they danced… was like the connection was electric….from then on they remained in touch….that was two months ago…. She remembered the conversation she had with Lara. As much as the talk with Lara had done much good, she couldn’t wait to see Flex. She wasn’t a ‘hot’ christian but knew the consequences of premarital sex but also didn’t want to lose him, but would her desire to have him in her life be too much for her? Yes, the feelings she had for flex was normal but what she would do with those feelings were more important…….. They had gone to catch a movie, had an early dinner at KFC and returned to Flex’s apartment, and were getting serious on the couch; the burning desires for each other strong. “Flex could we please talk?” Bimpe said to him, hand on his chest pushing him away gently, feeling his chiseled chest in the process. “Okay beautiful let’s talk….what’s on your mind? Are you ready to tell me why you’ve been acting strange these few days?” Bimpe hadn’t thought he noticed. “I’m sorry…I just had to think about some things…” She paused and he waited for her to continue. “I won’t deny that I’m attracted to you and want a lot more than kissing….but I don’t think I want to keep doing this…” Flex looked confused at what she was saying. ” Stop doing what?” “Stop this…thing we are doing….stop kissing…” He searched her eyes then burst out laughing. “Bimpe you had me there for a minute….Now I don’t know when you are serious and when you aren’t.” “I’m serious Flex….I got this thought that what’s happening shouldn’t…..”. Flex looked at her with concern, asking if everything was okay….for a minute there it sounded like he questioned her mental state.  “How can you one day just decide to change your mind??” Flex moved closer to her and tried kissing her, as if to ascertain her seriousness on the matter, but she turned her cheek to him. He got angry but made sure his tone didn’t show it….he put some distance between them. “Baby where is all this coming from? What do you mean you can’t kiss me again…don’t you enjoy it?” He looked so pained that Bimpe suddenly wanted to kiss him, as if that would placate him and she did… What happened next was amazing….
James 1 vs 13-16, ’13  Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. 14  But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). 15  Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death. 16  Do not be misled, my beloved brethren.’

WATCH OUT for part 2……..


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