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Love: an asset or liability ?


This is a topic worth pondering on, for deep thinkers who like to explore things in different dimensions.

Being asked the question if love is an asset or liability, would I say its both? You would have to find out…

First things first, I believe we should unclad the 3 key words here before delving into it.

Love- according to the world, it is a deep feeling of affection towards someone (though I would define it as a choice to show affection to someone)

Asset- anything of material value or usefulness that is owned by a person.

Liability- 1)anything that is a hindrance or puts an individual or group at a disadvantage or something someone is responsible for.
2)The state of being legally obliged and responsible.
3) An obligation to pay money to another party.
4)(Liabilities) Anything owed to someone else

So having defined that now, I ask myself, is my loving a person an asset or liability? (Ask yourself too)

Thought today is; If the man or woman isn’t working then the person is a liability. I have some male friends who say they want an asset and not a liability. Okay, fine. Monetary…that’s what they are looking at, but what about in terms of value?

An asset is something that is adding VALUE to someone’s life. So is your ‘love’ adding value to you or causing you to be at a disadvantage?

Love; whether Romantic or Platonic, one is involved in either or both relationships.
Is the other person (friend or partner) adding value to you? A company wants to employ people that would add value to them and make them grow…so also men and women want friends or partners adding values to their lives. The question is, ‘what do YOU have to offer?’ (And so I ask myself the same thing…)

An excerpt of an essay from the minimalists ‘Adding value to someone else’s life is one of the most important things you can do with your life, and it has nothing to do with money….. adding value is the only way to get another person’s buy-in, and it’s one of the few ways to get other people to believe in you as an individual.’

So that relationship you are in, where you are so in love with the individual (oh its so good to love and be loved my someone! 🙂 ) ….is he or she adding value to you? In other words is he or she an Asset?

So you may ask, ‘I’m in love but what can I add to him or her?’
Good! There are different things; you could inspire, lend a helping hand, be a shoulder to cry on, listen more, give your attention, support and so on. As women we could also look into what it means to be a help mate and not just thinking about what we can get but also what we can give…

Now that I reflect on it, I have been in relationships (both platonic and romantic) where values were and weren’t added. And I noticed I haven’t been so much in communication with those that didn’t add value; its more on an acquaintance level. Makes me wonder….if someone is so readily contributing to us wouldn’t we be running back for their advise, counsel or something? (Now I have to ask myself how many people come to meet ME for advise … )

If you feel your relationship isn’t adding value to you and you aren’t contributing as well (which seems like a fruitless one)…Think of how you can add value, act on it and get the desired change.

Another excerpt from an article, ‘is your relationship adding value?’ “……I just think any serious relationship needs to add value to your life, other than having someone to tell you “I love you”, and who will always go to the cinema with you. Why do you think we call it…significant other?”

Some peeps may say ‘love is too expensive ’cause I have to spend a lot of money’…. Oh please! Love is willing to be there for the other person (reasonably).

The one positive way I would say love is a liability is ’cause it is owed to EVERYONE. Yes! The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself….even your enemies. So everyone is now at debt….Lol…

Jesus is our greatest example of loving and adding values…. Jesus added the greatest value to our lives…the gift of salvation..

So is love an asset or liability?


It can be both! But you will choose which one you would stick with.

I have left you with personal questions to answer. Enjoy!

I implore you to view the links below for more info.



i Feel Unacceptable…


I feel unacceptable. What I do….not that I wish to do them. Do I keep running? If so, when will it finally end? If I get what I deserve it is damnation! But the right shows a way I don’t even deserve, one of freedom.

What is this? A tinge of light….forgiveness… freedom? Can I truly receive this? I have done wrongs. I have cheated people….I have lavished in the arms of sin!The gnawing claws that try to tear in and take over my flesh, my mind. The pain caused by it reaching in. I am too deep in.

Clouded by this darkness that ebbs into my soul, trying to take control of me! They are laughing at me..delight in their eyes at my mishap. Taking me in the opposite direction of right, drawing me with empty desires….short lived pleasures. telling me I have fallen short of His glory already.Rom 3 vs 23,”for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, “ …and I shld continue …but I want no more of it …Rescue me please


What is this? The light scares the darkness away. It draws me with loving hands. I am not worthy! Worthy of this pardon…I feel unacceptable. Yet the peace I feel is overwhelming. “Why me?” I ask. And He said, “Why not you?” It broke down all my resolve to continue to hide from Him due to my despicable acts.

Despite my shaky knees, the arms draw me closer still…. I couldn’t hold myself from collapsing into them. It felt warm…good. A heavy burden lifted. I found redemption…. peace….joy…hope…Love; He quieted me with His love from all my pains and sorrow. Soaked and washed in the precious blood of the lamb …removing all my dirt and in return…receiving a many a gift ….amongst it….salvation.

And how great this Light is! The light shining so bright and illuminating my path; though I was blind due to the darkness that covered my eyes and filled my world, this light forced darkness to bow to it and step away. Your light shining in my heart and shining through me for others to see the great things You have done.

I was never unacceptable…it was a mere feeling of deceit…You have expected my return despite of how great my sins were.

How joyous I am and want to sing your praises!! The Lord has turned my darkness to light! Hallelujah!!!

Matt 11 vs 28-30. “28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”




Courage: mental or moral strength to ,    persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
            Courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty.

To the world he may be a fool, a coward ……

Nicholas walked into the office, greeting people he met along the way with a nod and a good morning as appropriate. Was it him or people were looking at him different? He straightened his tie as he approached the elevator that would take him to his office.
He was up for a promotion and his early hours to work were beginning to pay off. Now all he needed was something extra and he would be done with it.
As he entered the elevator and it began shutting its doors, a slim pink coated manicured hand stretched out to hold it.
“Good morning Nicholas,” she greeted him, smiling and…where those flirtations in her stance?
“Good morning Vivian….how was your night?”. Vivian had been making passes at him for awhile now. Yes, it made him feel good as a man that a younger woman could find him attractive but her advances were inappropriate, especially in the office.
She said it was great and asked the same of him.
“It was good, I thank God.” The elevator stopped and she got off before him.
“Have a nice day,” she walked away and he had to force himself not to look at her. He went straight into his office and gently closed the door.

Saturday morning
The ringing of his phone woke him up. He reached out to pick it, he didn’t recognize the number but answered it all the same.
“Hi sunshine….” A female voice said to him and he sat up.
“Who’s this?” He asked.
“It’s Vivian… couldn’t even collect my number now that we are partners.” Her father had teamed them up yesterday to work on a project. Nicholas rubbed his eyes, looking at the short hand of the clock hitting nine.  He said he was sorry.
“No problem, we have to meet up today. I have some ideas that would boost us winning the contract.”
Nicholas could just have said no, that he didn’t work on Saturdays. That he had other plans but no, he said he would meet up with her at KFC, in Adeniran Ogunsanya shopping mall, at 2pm. She declined and said they would meet up at
her father’s house. At first he was skeptical about it, but he thought his boss seeing him in the house would boost his promotion.

“So where is your father?” He asked, when he arrived.
“Oh! He had to leave for a business trip and he took my mum with him. Would you like something to drink?” At that moment Nicholas felt like a fool and a puppet.
“Wait….is this some kind of game to you?” She looked at him innocently like she had no idea what he was talking about. She brought out some papers and told the house help to bring in juice and water. “Let’s get to it.” She patted the chair next to her.  He pushed the chair at a distance from her and sat down. They went on and she indeed had great ideas to offer which impressed him.
All of a sudden she moved close to him and placed her hand on his thigh. He looked at her, the passions of his flesh waging war with his spirit. She got up and removed her jacket. “Nic I need a massage, my neck is stiff.” One would have expected her to wear a camisole under her jacket but now she was clad in nothing but her underwear.
“Run!” He heard as he stood still ….he couldn’t motivate his legs to move…..
“Put your jacket back on.” He said to her. She moved towards him and touched his shoulders. “I love your broad shoulders and chiseled chest through your suits….”
He got up and moved back slowly then turned and literally ran out as fast as he could. He heard her call his name but he didn’t dare answer.
Was he a coward?
Yes….he couldn’t face the coming doom and so he ran, moving fast to where the car was parked.
He couldn’t look back….he dare not.
He got to the car and fumbled with his keys in his pocket, he finally got to it and pulled open the car and got in. Frantically, he put on the ignition and drove away…..far away from it.
His phone rang then… was his wife.

“Honey where are you?” She asked. “We thought we would surprise you at home.” She and the kids had gone to her mother’s house so the children could have fun at their grandparents place, who spoiled them silly.
“I..I just stepped out to get some things done. Have a new project going on. Expect me in some minutes.” She said okay and wished him a safe trip, not failing to add that she missed him and couldn’t wait to see him….
At first he was fidgety. How was he going to tell his wife? Did he have to tell her? The fear within in told him he would be a fool to tell her. But he decided to tell her despite the fear or how difficult it was. He told her how Vivian had been flirting with him and tried to seduce him that night if not that he had found the courage to run away. She didn’t react at first, as though she were thinking, but smiled through glassy eyes looking into his own. “Thanks for telling me about this.”
He felt relieved and reached out to hug her. “I don’t want to keep anything from you….”
If he started hiding things from her there might be no end to it. Besides he had nothing to hide, though he didn’t want her to worry about anything. “I don’t want you to be worried….just want you to trust me.” She smiled touching the side of his face with her palm. “I love and trust you for this…..”

Courage….Is it courage or stupidity to tell your wife such things? To be open in such manner? If the same thing happened to the wife…should she tell her husband? Hmmm…..
The bible said Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed…meaning no secrets?

But now besides that, the ability to run from sin and not submit to its calling ….is courage; especially when you have to choose to really WALK away from it.

1 Corith 16 vs 13, ‘Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous.[t] Be strong.’

But its not by (your)power, not by (your) might but by His Spirit, ’cause we have not been given a Spirit of fear but of boldness.

And Grace is also a function….
The bible says we should come before the throne of grace to obtain mercy and grace for the needed time.

Titus 2 vs 11-12
‘  For the grace of God (His unmerited favor and blessing) has come forward (appeared) for the deliverance from sin and the eternal salvation for all mankind. 12  It has trained us to reject and renounce all ungodliness (irreligion) and worldly (passionate) desires, to live discreet (temperate, self-controlled), upright, devout (spiritually whole) lives in this present world, ‘


Butterflies and Dreams… 3

concluding part

“Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There is a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay for learning things as they are, a price for everything” – Harry Browne.

And then it happens…The butterfly breaks forth out of its cocoon, takes a few minutes before getting its bearing….its wings open up and realizes it can then fly. It flies away….beautiful scaly wings evident for all to see….

We have looked at discovering your talent, obstacles on your way to making your dreams a reality and now we look at living the dream. Remember in part one I mentioned that until you step out to use your talent for the benefit of others it still remains in the egg stage. So now your dreams have become a reality!

One thing to know is this, all butterflies may be doing the same thing, but don’t forget ‘the wings’ are different which distinguishes them; giving each of them their uniqueness.

Butterfly with different wings flying out there, so are different people with different dreams to make this world a better and beautiful place.

Right now I know there are a lot of established writers (I just read a story from Chimamanda Adichie’s book ‘The thing around your neck’ and I was wowed by it), so what makes mine different and how am I sure what I have is good enough?
Well I’m believing the One who gave me the gift to use it to the maximum and believe that I can also do something different and great too.
So also find ways to be better and improve on that talent.

I would like to end this series with scriptures to gear you up…
Romans 8 vs 19, ‘For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.’

Matthew 5 vs 15-16, ’15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.’

Finally, make this declaration over your life (from Joel’s Osteen’s book ‘I declare “31 promises to speak over your life” ‘

I DECLARE God’s supernatural favor over my life. What I could not make happen on my own, God will make happen for me. Supernatural opportunities, healing, restoration and breakthroughs are coming my way. I am getting stronger, healthier and wiser. I will discover talent that I didn’t know I had and I will accomplish my God-given dream. This is my declaration.

I’m so interested in knowing your progress and also don’t forget to encourage others in achieving their dreams…. See you at the top!


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