Heart Breakers & Trust Issues

Trust issues

Commitment ish’s

How can I Trust again???

How can I Love again….

Heart break….is it just a figure of speech? I mean don’t our hearts fill like they’ve been ripped out of our bodies when hurt by love. Or am I going to the extreme?
You happen to see a couple holding hands and you can’t help but think of what could have been. The pain heavy in your heart, the thought of never being with him again depressing you. Lil’ wonder people ended up in psychiatric hospitals over it.
I personally know of a guy who told me he broke up with a girl and she ended up in the hospital. I heard of someone else who drank OMO detergent ’cause of that(don’t know how true that is but stuff happens!)

Not everyone is emotionally strong enough to take that kind of blow to the chest….

If you’ve never suffered from a heartbreak I pray you never get to experience it. The pain, the tears, the snorts (lots of it actually), sleepless nights, no appetite (or for some people and excess of it) and more, are all consequences of a heartbreak.

Honestly, when you have had your heart broken before…its difficult to trust. It changes your perception of things. If a partner cheated on you and/or jilted you, then the next person in line for your heart would have to deal with those trust issues attained.

But you see someone you care about and you WANT to Love but may be AFRAID to do so ’cause it entails trust. It entails you wanting the person to know everything about you. Something raw and bare….it exposes every part of you; your fears, weaknesses and leaves you vulnerable to the person.

And then 1 Corinth 13 vs 7 mentioned that Love always Trusts….

Trust means rely on, depend on, lean on…it means take care of my well-being….my heart.
But you don’t want to trust ….you can’t afford to hurt that way anymore. I was chatting with a friend of mine and we were discussing my trust issues. Indirectly he said I have to work on myself and rely on God to bring the right people into my life. That made good sense.

Now trusting can be hard. After all the ups and downs of the previous relationship. But trust you must. Take it baby steps at a time. Let God heal the past pain and lead your steps to a new beginning.

Don’t in turn be a heart breaker….you are just going to hurt yourself.

Trust God to bring the right person into your life and rest in His Love.

 

Been working on this and it’s finally here! Our motto:
….Forever Loving YOU…..

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Embracing your Crown: Journey to forgiveness

Why is it that people hurt people? Why do people hurt the ones they are meant to love and cherish?
Why?
This is a question I asked myself.
A man that chased a woman, loved her, did all sorts for her even after marriage, had the same capacity to hurt her. To cause her pain and sadness.
God why did this happen? Why? Was it ‘JuJu’ that made the man do so?

Having concluded the book of Genesis and it ended with the death of Joseph. Joseph whom his father had loved so much and his brothers had despised.
Though Joseph, as a young man of seventeen, had had his shortcomings of rubbing in the faces of his brothers the great plan God had for him.
His brothers, his blood, his family, who were meant to love and protect their brother simply wanted to kill him. They instead sold him to foreigners to be a slave for the rest of his life.
How did he feel? He had to beg for his life….plead with his brothers but all to no avail. He went to a foreign land but no matter the let down of those closest to him, God was with him.
He granted him favor and he soon became a man in charge of his masters’ household. Yet I’m sure the pain of what he went through with his family still lingered in his heart. And then another trial came, one that forced him to be in prison just ’cause he feared God.

Where was God in all of this? Why was all that happening in his life?
It was all to fulfill a purpose and God was always with him. God saw him through and still lifted him up in prison. He was there for a few years till his victory came and he discovered things happened that way ’cause it was how God intended it to be, to position him in greatness to help the nation of Israel.

Many of us may have come from broken or dysfunctional homes, where a father could have left or where you could have been treated badly or abused, either way the upbringing may not have been so great.

Its time to release the pain and let go of the past and forgive to press forward to the future.

For me, I struggle with letting go of what happened with my parents. It has resulted to me having fears about relationships. The sounds of Lionel Richie and Diana Ross’ ‘Endless love’ brings more pain than wishful thinking of love.

But then God says we should forgive so that He can also forgive us. I also read a book where I learnt that me holding on to the past brings about a possibility of it repeating itself…..

I’m not going to hide my pain from God….I just want Him to take it away and help me forgive as I should.

And even if your situation may not be like mine or someone has hurt you in whatever way…why not take the step to forgive.

In Psalm 103 vs 4 (NIV) it says

‘who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion’

I want to embrace my crown of love and compassion to enable me forgive. Whatever hardened heart I may have God please turn it to a heart of flesh. Help me Lord.

I may not be able to see the greater good in all of this yet….but God knows best and I only need to trust in Him.

Am I Beautiful?

 

 

Am I too skinny? Am I skinny enough? Am I fat?

Are my eyes pretty?

Is my nose too big?

Am I too short? Too tall?….

Wait…my tummy isn’t flat enough??

The questions go on and on ’cause of our physical appearance and how the world tends to define a beautiful or handsome person.
The need to look good and feel confident in the eyes of the world, and not in your own eyes, is common to a lot of people. Everyone likes to look good, though some more than others, we love latest clothes, jewelry, bags….. shoes!!!!!! (Well maybe all that is just us girls….)

For me I feel my ‘yams’ are too pronounced and I need to reduce my tummy ’cause its protruding. The yams…I don’t think I can do anything about,,,the stomach, nothing a lil sit ups can’t fix *smile*

Its good to look presentable, but not be so over the top ’bout it, that we make it a do or die thing.

1 Peter 3 vs 3 says,
‘Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.’

There was this dove advert about women telling their friends what they liked about them, which they did quite well,  but when it got to talking about themselves they couldn’t find anything to say!

A practical step….look for those large standing mirrors and take a look at yourself and appreciate what you’ve got.

And instead of questioning your outlook, rather ask yourself:

Am I kind?

Am I gentle?

Am I loving?

Do I have self-control?

Do I have the fruit of the Spirit embedded in me?

All the beauty of the physical would one day fade and you would be left with the inner quality which stands the test of time….

I Peter 3 vs 4,
‘4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.’

According to the psalmist in Ps 139 vs 14
‘ 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.’

Deep down within himself he knew God did a great job!

And God did a good job with me! I love my height(don’t even know if I’m up to 5’4″), eyes, nose, mouth…in fact everything! Its not like I’m Miss Agbani Darego or something….or Kim Kardashian. But I was created this way for a reason (maybe if I was too tall I would have been a bully or something….Lol) but anyway way appreciate who you are on the outside….God loves you!

This is something written by a friend that I would love to share,

Beauty

No matter how pretty she looks
Her value can be calculated
Based on the looks/quality
And quantity of the men standing
Beside/behind her.

Looks are deceptive, they wow you
And blow your mind away.
However, a pause to calculate,
to think, to wonder and not just to wow,
Will always reveal a deeper truth.

The truth lies in the fact that Beauty/
Looks/pretty/lovely/good looking…
Is really vain!
Vain – VANITY. Beauty is vanity.

Dapo Omotosho

at the feet of JESUS.

I walked into the room and dropped my bag at the floor close to the entrance of another room. The man inside the room looked up at me and smiled, motioning for me to enter with it. I looked questioningly at him, ‘cause it felt awkward carrying my huge duffel bag inside, but someone tapped me gently on my shoulder and told me it was okay. He  smiled warmly at me and told me to enter.

I shrugged and went in, that was when I saw other bags, and in fact Ghana –must-go bags there, much larger than my duffel bag, at a corner.

I sat down at his feet with others listening to what he was saying, I noticed some people were crying and some were smiling widely. I wondered ‘what would make these people laugh and cry? Was this what I had been invited for?’ I shook my head and tried to focus on what he was saying.
“So many of you have come here for different things and I’m glad you can trust me with these burdens you carry…..” He paused and seemed to look at everyone in the room, His eyes found mine, then went on, ‘you have all come from so far…you won’t go back the same, I have water and food to give you to ease your journey and strengthen you as you head back. Please make yourself comfortable.’

I decided to mingle with at least two people in the room to find out what this joy and tears were about. I was told of the peace they leave with, the lessons they learnt.

The man who had been talking walked up to me and he smiled. ‘Thank you for coming, hope to see you often.’ He reached out and held my hand. I smiled also. As I left I felt so much better and knew I would definitely be back.

All the issues…problems…baggages….don’t carry it into the new month. You might have tried to deal with them…but since you couldn’t why not just leave it to Jesus to take care of.

King Hezekiah, in 2 Kings 19, after reading the letter sent to him by his enemy and how they were going to destroy his kingdom, he spread the letter before God and cried out to Him and he got an answer from God. He didn’t rely on his great army and his strength but surrendered it all to Him.

Why not do the same? He would be pleased to take care of all your burdens….

Have a Blessed month!